Daily Dose of Funny

[PhantmOfTheOpra]

Just told my OCD friend that I moved something on his desk when I didn't. This should be fun.

 

[OscarTheForger]

:bored: This is a awkward thread...
Am I supposed to talk to myself like the lobby host?
I'm confused...

 

[PhantmOfTheOpra]

:bored: This is a awkward thread...
Am I supposed to talk to myself like the lobby host?
I'm confused...

Just post funny things, the part of speech or whatever doesn't matter, so long as its humorous.

 

[OscarTheForger]

I don't know if I wanna talk though
I think I'll pass...

 

[PhantmOfTheOpra]

May the Fourth be with you!

 

[PhantmOfTheOpra]

Every single person on the planet has the reflexes of a superhero if you start scrolling through their photos while holding their phone.

 

[PhantmOfTheOpra]

It's not an ampersand. It's an emoticon for sitting and staring at your phone. &

 

[PhantmOfTheOpra]

Three weeks without a singl typo!

 

[PhantmOfTheOpra]

7/11 is giving out free slurpees today so plan your schedule accordingly.

 

[PhantmOfTheOpra]

I love a good trilogy but am confused by this one: Clash of the Titans, Wrath of the Titans and Remember the Titans. The first two are great, but then the storyline jumps around like an overcaffeinated squirrel snorting crack on a pogo stick.

 

[PhantmOfTheOpra]

Remember, if you kill George Zimmerman tonight, it was in "self defense".

Note: I never wanted to take a side in this, but I do want to give my condolences to Trayvon's family, no matter how unlikely it is they will read this.

 

[PhantmOfTheOpra]

I'm starting to wonder if it's strange that I ask my friends to tell me funny things i've said so I can remember them and laugh again.

 

[PhantmOfTheOpra]

If a bird chirps in the forest, and no one re-tweets it, did it ever happen?

 

[PhantmOfTheOpra]

Just came up with a funny story: You're at a job center, and you want to be a bounty hunter. The interviewer asks you if you ever tortured or killed insects as a kid, since they don't want sadists to have the authority of being a bounty hunter. You say no, but you admit you sometimes knocked over anthills and turned over rocks to see what the insects were doing, and then came back the next day to do it again. The interviewer recommends a job in the NSA.

 

[PhantmOfTheOpra]

I hate it when i'm trying to pull the blankets up and I punch myself in the face.

 

[PhantmOfTheOpra]

One of the saddest days of my life was when I heard that bears sleep for half the year and I realized I had been born the wrong species

 

[PhantmOfTheOpra]

One thing I've been wondering is, what happens if the TARDIS lands on top of someone?

 

[PhantmOfTheOpra]

Whenever I'm playing Battlefield Bad Company, and I see this:

This is what I really see:

 

[PandaMan]

What's the same about an African-American man and a sperm?

Spoiler

Only one in a million actually works.

True story.

 

[PhantmOfTheOpra]

They were going to make headphones just for women but the name Dr. Dre Beats Women didn't sound good.