Sometimes I doubt the shortage of jobs in America when there are like 25 cash registers at every Walmart and only 3 cashiers.
Daily Dose of Funny
- Thread starter PhantmOfTheOpra
- Start date
"Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars."
Shoot for the moon at your own risk. If you miss, assuming that your initial and sustained velocities are great enough to bypass solar gravitational influence, you will exceed orbital domain and proceed into extrasolar space, where you will remain for thousands of years. If you continue to proceed at your current velocity, it is unlikely that you will land upon any stars before you drift out of our galaxy. You will float for billions of years through the empty, desolate space until you fall upon another galaxy. If you are lucky, you may land upon a star after ten thousand more years or so. In that case, you will be instantaneously incinerated by radiant and thermal energy as you near the star, then further ravaged by internal nuclear and exothermic reactions once you finally do land upon the star. Your remains will stay within the sun until it is scattered across the galaxy by its supernova or imprisoned eternally after implosion and transformation into a black hole.
If you don't miss, assuming you have a way to remain intact upon collision with the moon, then congratulations. You have made it onto a remote, barren wasteland. In the three minutes that remain of your life before you shrivel up and die from lack of oxygen and minimal atmospheric pressure, you can reflect upon why you decided to shoot for the moon in the first place.
Shoot for the moon at your own risk. If you miss, assuming that your initial and sustained velocities are great enough to bypass solar gravitational influence, you will exceed orbital domain and proceed into extrasolar space, where you will remain for thousands of years. If you continue to proceed at your current velocity, it is unlikely that you will land upon any stars before you drift out of our galaxy. You will float for billions of years through the empty, desolate space until you fall upon another galaxy. If you are lucky, you may land upon a star after ten thousand more years or so. In that case, you will be instantaneously incinerated by radiant and thermal energy as you near the star, then further ravaged by internal nuclear and exothermic reactions once you finally do land upon the star. Your remains will stay within the sun until it is scattered across the galaxy by its supernova or imprisoned eternally after implosion and transformation into a black hole.
If you don't miss, assuming you have a way to remain intact upon collision with the moon, then congratulations. You have made it onto a remote, barren wasteland. In the three minutes that remain of your life before you shrivel up and die from lack of oxygen and minimal atmospheric pressure, you can reflect upon why you decided to shoot for the moon in the first place.
"Did you here about the fight at the chippy" the man said, "yeah the fish got battered" he replied.
"I'll help you find the coffee table in the dark!" -My pinky toe
NOTE: sorry for the gap in posts, I have been busy with finals. I'll be posting a few more today to get back in the rhythm, and then hopefully continuing in the normal one a day schedule after that.
NOTE: sorry for the gap in posts, I have been busy with finals. I'll be posting a few more today to get back in the rhythm, and then hopefully continuing in the normal one a day schedule after that.
Of course MTV doesn't play music videos anymore. Video is currently serving 25 to Life, in a maximum security prison, for the murder of the radio star.
Condoms should be used during every conceivable occasion possible.
If you don't get it, I seriously suggest getting yourself sterilized.
If you don't get it, I seriously suggest getting yourself sterilized.
NO!!! For reasons which will come to me. Seriously though, I prefer to keep them seperate in case one needs to be removed for some reason.
Yes. But when staff need to remove something, they most likely just remove the post.
Dear Warner Brothers: I think I am mature enough now to hear what the "beep-beep" is hiding when Road Runner talks to Wile E. Coyote.
Dropping an iPhone is like having sex: you can do it a lot without protection and nothing bad happens, but it only takes once to ruin your life.
What do you call a black man working in the cotton fields?
Somebody who can feed a family of four.