People that don't lay in bed for 3 hours thinking about random, irrelevant shit every night, what's that like?
Daily Dose of Funny
- Thread starter PhantmOfTheOpra
- Start date
On the subject of why a girl brought cupcakes possibly containing semen, pubic hair, and other bodily fluids to school, I think the more important question is where did she get the semen? That stuff doesn't just magically appear people.
[UPDATE: No body fluids were found in any of the cupcakes]
[UPDATE: No body fluids were found in any of the cupcakes]
I've never seen a more disappointed look than that of a 9 year old kid at the movie theater who, in his seat, pulled out an uncooked bag of microwave popcorn, chucked for a few seconds, and then realized that after all of the dangers he braved to get it into the theater, he had no way of cooking it.
It's been a while...
In the Soviet Union, people feared that the KGB hid bugs in their homes and offices.
In present day America, people can't buy enough phones, laptops, and tablets with built in mics and cameras for the NSA to listen and watch their daily lives.
In the Soviet Union, people feared that the KGB hid bugs in their homes and offices.
In present day America, people can't buy enough phones, laptops, and tablets with built in mics and cameras for the NSA to listen and watch their daily lives.
Plot twist: The NSA was never looking for terrorists at all. They're holding auditions for a remake of the Truman Show.
Honking your horn is fun but rolling down the window and yelling "honk" at people is so much more satisfying.
Damn straight I do. I've missed some during finals/vacations and the like, but I try to keep a consistent "daily dose" of funny. Speaking of:
You can say what you want about Kleptomaniacs. They can take it.
Waiting to see how long it takes this police sketch artist to realize I'm describing him.
That blinky light on each side of your car? It's there so we all know what direction you're gonna aim your 4,000 lb death machine. USE IT.
People in love tend to use phrases like "take my breath away", "make my heart stop" and "sweep me off my feet". I think they're confusing love and attempted murder.
Nice try Jehovah's Witnesses but dressing up like police officers and telling me you have a warrant is not going to get me to open my door.
I wonder if Superman ever put glasses on Lois Lane's dog and she was like "I've never seen this dog before. Is this a new dog?"
That grass that you think is greener? They use bullshit for fertilizer. Think about that before you jump the fence.