Now that I'm editing it, a lot of questions are going to my mind. Also, I'm correcting it is based off of what I've learned in my class. So, it should be in a better but more formal version in my previous scripts. I've made a lot of mistakes with those scripts. The Empire ship will be the pirate ship later, right? Because that scene in the explosions is also! I'm also getting thrown off by the fact that you're the director, so this can be postproduction. I'm used preproduction and the mistakes of my previous scripts were writing them as some kind of combination between pre and post. I like the song by the way. Here's my changes:
I made some more changes to spice it up. So, skip this one and look at the one below if you want to know some more of my thoughts.