In the past year Street Falcon has become a household name. The man everyone knows, but he has public opinion split down the middle. Many think of him as a hero doing his best to clean up the streets, others see him as a murderer that just wants an excuse. "We can't have some random maniac on the streets, besides his methods are extremely unorthodox and unnecessary", says Police Chief Shakko. I replied with the question,"Do you believe the recent drop in crime rates are due to Street Falcon's presence?", she had no comment. Chief Shakko has recently taken steps to stop Street Falcon, including asking for any information on the dark avenger's ominous "Falcon Mobile". Without further delay I give you the man himself Street Falcon!
Cobra(C): So, What made you want to become a vigilante?
Street Falcon(SF): Neat story, I was buying a hooker and all was well then after the "happy ending" she pulls a shotgun on me and makes me give her all my cash. Thats when I knew the streets needed a guardian, someone who isn't corrupt or really is out for the public's best interest.
C: What about your disregard for public property, as seen in this photo:
SF: Oh, I can explain that. A criminal was running from me after he'd committed a burglary, when I shot at him I must of hit a gas line.
C: A gas line... on the middle of a bridge?
SF: Yes.
C: Can I ask what he'd stolen?
SF: A candy bar, from a gas station that was roughly a block away from the setting of the photo.
C: Oh, well lets move on. Where do you get the funds for your weapons, costumes, and infamous vehicles?
SF: When I catch and/or kill a crook, I take any cash I find on him or her.
C: Shouldn't you return it if say, they'd robbed a bank?
SF: No. I didn't see the teller ice any of the bank robbers, they should have better protected the assets.
C: Where did you acquire your secret weapon, only seen in action on two occasions... the "Falcon Tank":
SF: I obtained it in a completely legal manner, I uh... built it.
C: You, who from my knowledge has no military training or engineering background, built a tank.
SF: Yes.
C: Where did you get the materials for said tank?
SF: I purchased them legally in the middle of the night at a restricted army base...
C: That sounds legitimate. What about the reasons for you using the Falcon Tank?
SF: The first time I was extremely drunk & angry because I learned they canceled My Name is Earl before he finished his list. The second time I was trying to stop the Peanut Butter man.
C: Why do you hate the Peanut Butter man?
SF: Because he strips in public, goes into super markets, slathers peanut butter on himself, and proceeds to run through the streets... occasionally touching himself.
C: Did you ever kill the Peanut Butter man?
SF: No, he's still out there. I got close once but the little bastard jumped into the sewers.
C: Would you say he is your Achilles' heel?
SF: I wouldn't, because some day I'm going to find out where he keeps his peanut butter and complete our business.C: Why is it your known to attack any law enforcement officer on sight? As seen in this photo.
SF: That's not me.
C: But its clearly your Falcon Mobile.SF: You can't prove that, but that cops death was justified. Why? Because every cop in my town is a dirty cop.
C: How is it you know that?
SF: Normally I'm paying them off.
C: Ah, would you tell me about the incident with Blaize, another hero from Steelport. This is the last photo of him before his funeral:
SF: I learned he was corrupt.
C: Corrupt how?
SF: He didn't kill anyone, I mean who becomes a hero and doesn't do the right thing in the end? Plus you know, he turned all the drugs he seized to the cops rather than giveing'em to me.
C: Speaking of other heroes, what happened to your sidekick(or partner), Hot-dog Lad.
SF: Oh, he was arrested for beating the hell out of cops.
C: Why did he attack all those cops? Did he think all of them were dirty, like you do.
SF: No, but if you look up Hot-dog Lad on facebook he has cocaine under hobbies.
C: Last question, why is it you pulled your gun on me every time before now that I asked for an interview, but now here you are?
SF: I finally got around to looking up on yahoo answers, what is and isn't legal for me to say. I'M UNTOUCHABLE!!!
That conclude this interview. Now I want you to answer a question is Street Falcon a hero, or a villain? Give us your answer above.
.
