Shredding

[RogerDodger]

At work today, I had to shred about 30-35 pounds of paper. There's really nothing else I can occupy my brain with... just leaf after leaf of documents. I'm forced to just think, by myself, alone.

What's the point of all this shredding? It's part of my job, sometimes. What's the point of my job? Or of school? Everything is phrased the same way, "if you do this, you'll become successful/wealthy/happy". Let's be slaves today, so that we can be free another day. Why does it always have to be the means to an end? Life shouldn't be a set of stepping stones. We should gain something from every experience.

However, I have a problem with that. My experiences are like stale crackers. Sure, they'll fill me up with the energy to keep me going - but there is no appetite for them, as they are flavorless. So what if I'm an introverted senior in high school? I have few friends and (to my knowledge) no enemies. I don't have a social presence because of a fear of rejection, lack of interest in its mindless conventions, and no experience. I'm not involved in any clubs, volunteering, or sports. Really, I have very few talents.

So what is one like me to do? Shred. Shred at work, school, family. Oh, and put on a happy face so people won't assume I'm suicidal or mentally unstable. And to be clear, I am far from either of those conditions. What's left of me, then? All I get is "you're smart". Gee, thanks, like that means everything. I understand that it's a blessing to have a learning capacity. It doesn't correct that I'm not a well-rounded person, that of which society is looking for in every individual.

Maybe it's my fault. I find pleasure in the experiences from video games and Internet communication. I could be wasting my life away, too stubborn to abandon something that doesn't matter to anyone else. Maybe I'm a victim of society's rigid requirements for a new generation of Americans. Am I doing the right thing, using the two abilities I have (intelligence and work ethic) to advance myself in society? Or am I wrong, entirely missing the fruits of life like creativity, love, discovery -- because of who I believe I am? I'm not sure. Maybe you guys have been, or are in the same place as I am.

Thanks for taking the time to read this. For now, I have to get back to shredding.

 

[anexpiredlemon]

Just think of all the hamsters that could nest happily in all that shredded paper...

You're doing them all a service and you should feel proud that many hamsters will be sleeping well tonight surrounded by the warmth of this paper and will appreciate all the love, time, care and meticulous precision you took in shedding it.

Now sit back and revel in the thought of this good deed you have done for the many thousands of rodents in your local area. ​

 

[Insane54]

Personally, I don't really believe in this whole "there's one thing that you're really good at naturally and enjoy!" thing, because it's not generally true -- people who are 'naturally' good at something most of the time got there by hard work. I really enjoy my job and I get paid a hell of a lot more money than I could imagine earning less than a year ago. However, I'd never have made it to this point had I been fixated on the whole "I'm enjoying X more than Y, so why bother doing Y?". Eventually I cut off what was keeping me from being productive and started grinding out work, learning to enjoy it in the larger scale, actually growing skills instead of antagonizing that I'm not intrinsically talented in a complicated subject, and learning to separate my free time into "relaxation time" and "project time" (one of which became HaloCustoms). Once you put your subject matter in your own terms, you're either going to say "hey, this is awesome" or hate it for a while and realize that it's not your thing, and then you move on.

Also, while the long grind before you can do something exciting definitely exists (depending on job area, could be more or less), what I found was that it's necessary, and while you're spending your time on it, you may as well be giving it your all. But, you should definitely be at least decently positive that this is the area you want to go into -- work hard at work, come home and relax a little, and then do something yourself in that area. If you enjoy doing it yourself and for free, you'll probably enjoy doing it for money

 

[Charles Stoot]

Z3r0 maybe we aren't so different after all, I too work in a Pilot Plant. My biggest roll I had to stead was around a 5 ft dia. Not with a box cutter of course, we did it with a table saw. I've also had to clean the gutters out of the plant. So ya any stories you have. I've gotten the fork lift stuck several times.