Alright guys, I know some of you have gotten drunk and had some awesome times. Why not have this place be the place where we share them? I'll start it off.
This was a couple months ago. I was chillin with some friends at one kids house. Me, being the kid that I am, I have to get plastered. In total I drank about half a handle (1.5L) of vodka within 30 minutes. From this point on I have no memory, this is all second or third hand. Apparently I got extremely hungry (smoked earlier, fuck munchies) and went to the supermarket with these three girls. Apparently I jump out of the window of the car right when we put in to the parking lot while the driver is still going around 25mph or so, get a semi-bad road rash on my arm, but drunken superhero mode engaged. I somehow get blood all over my face and arms, but not my clothes, really. The girls flip a shit and are yelling at me. I just walk in all calm and shit, I mean shit, I am fucked up. I grab a shit ton of candy and chips and some sodas, and walk up to the register. Meanwhile I have these three girls telling me that we need to go get washed up or some shit. So we all go into the bathroom together and then fucking clean me or some shit. I have no idea what happened, none of them would tell me. Anyways, I get all cleaned up and we walk out. I get a big ass smile on my face and walk over to the drugstore section. At this point I am dying of laughter. I grab 10 packs of condoms, grab them and put my arms around the girls whilst walking back to the register to pay. The cashier there is just thinking something like dear fucking god this guy is a GOD! Somehow we pay and leave. We are driving for maybe 5 minutes, then I yell at the top of my lungs that we have to stop at KFC (No I'm not black). We go in and I try to fight all of the black people that are in there, I succeed in getting the cops called and we get out food and bolt out of there after somebody punched me in the face and I took out their legs. At this point I am starting to sober up. I tell the girls that I want to go back now. They are so relieved. Little did they know. So we get back to the party, which is still going on thank God. I walk in and people just stop and look at me and I yell "What the fuck are yall lookin at, get me a drink." One of the girls that I was in the car with, who was slightly drunk, got me another handle of some more shit and I just chug a quarter of that. Now the house that we're at has a sick ass pool right next to the roof. I think you know where this is going. Somehow I get up on the roof with that one girl that got me the drink, which we still have up there. We both polish that baby off while up there. Then I get the genius idea that we should both jump down into the pool together and that I'll hold her. She is just like "HELL YEAH NICK LETS DO THIS SHIT". Being reasonable people we both strip down to our underwear. She jumps into my arms and I take three steps back, I charge forward while yelling something about fucking bitches. We are airborne. Somehow she stays in my arms (later found bruises on me). Impact. She lands on me with me, while I land on my back, drunk win. Everybody is cheering extremely loud. We surface and we start hooking up. Progresses to the bedroom where somehow some of my condoms ended up. We fuck like rabbits. I'm super fucking thirsty after that sesh so I just cut out and go upstairs in my boxers to get some more drinks. We get up there and that other girl from the car, not the driver is still here and tells me that jumping off the roof made her so wet (wtf right) and that she wants to take me downstairs. I grab a smaller bottle of vodka downstairs because more alcohol quenches the thirst obviously. I drink that on the way down. We end up going into the room where the first girl is still there, she is pretty drunk. She sees me and is thrilled, totally ready for round two. Cue threesome. Then I go back upstairs after being finished with those two. Apparently it is around 3 or 4 am at this point. I take 5 or 6 bong rips and go with someone to the hardware store (someone broke a window). I spend the next hour fucking around with power tools and being a hooligan, somehow don't hurt myself or anyone else. We leave, and I see some homeless guy out on the street and convince the driver that we should bring him back with us. This homeless guy just chills at the party for a good hour before randomly leaving after getting in a fight with the owner. Said owner gets pissed at me for bringing him here and tries to fight me. I get my ass beat, but not as bad as he did. I was still blind drunk and broke his cheekbone in the fight, somehow I didn't break my hand, but I had a swollen face for a day or two.
That was quite a night. Sorry for the wall of badly written text. Your stories?
This was a couple months ago. I was chillin with some friends at one kids house. Me, being the kid that I am, I have to get plastered. In total I drank about half a handle (1.5L) of vodka within 30 minutes. From this point on I have no memory, this is all second or third hand. Apparently I got extremely hungry (smoked earlier, fuck munchies) and went to the supermarket with these three girls. Apparently I jump out of the window of the car right when we put in to the parking lot while the driver is still going around 25mph or so, get a semi-bad road rash on my arm, but drunken superhero mode engaged. I somehow get blood all over my face and arms, but not my clothes, really. The girls flip a shit and are yelling at me. I just walk in all calm and shit, I mean shit, I am fucked up. I grab a shit ton of candy and chips and some sodas, and walk up to the register. Meanwhile I have these three girls telling me that we need to go get washed up or some shit. So we all go into the bathroom together and then fucking clean me or some shit. I have no idea what happened, none of them would tell me. Anyways, I get all cleaned up and we walk out. I get a big ass smile on my face and walk over to the drugstore section. At this point I am dying of laughter. I grab 10 packs of condoms, grab them and put my arms around the girls whilst walking back to the register to pay. The cashier there is just thinking something like dear fucking god this guy is a GOD! Somehow we pay and leave. We are driving for maybe 5 minutes, then I yell at the top of my lungs that we have to stop at KFC (No I'm not black). We go in and I try to fight all of the black people that are in there, I succeed in getting the cops called and we get out food and bolt out of there after somebody punched me in the face and I took out their legs. At this point I am starting to sober up. I tell the girls that I want to go back now. They are so relieved. Little did they know. So we get back to the party, which is still going on thank God. I walk in and people just stop and look at me and I yell "What the fuck are yall lookin at, get me a drink." One of the girls that I was in the car with, who was slightly drunk, got me another handle of some more shit and I just chug a quarter of that. Now the house that we're at has a sick ass pool right next to the roof. I think you know where this is going. Somehow I get up on the roof with that one girl that got me the drink, which we still have up there. We both polish that baby off while up there. Then I get the genius idea that we should both jump down into the pool together and that I'll hold her. She is just like "HELL YEAH NICK LETS DO THIS SHIT". Being reasonable people we both strip down to our underwear. She jumps into my arms and I take three steps back, I charge forward while yelling something about fucking bitches. We are airborne. Somehow she stays in my arms (later found bruises on me). Impact. She lands on me with me, while I land on my back, drunk win. Everybody is cheering extremely loud. We surface and we start hooking up. Progresses to the bedroom where somehow some of my condoms ended up. We fuck like rabbits. I'm super fucking thirsty after that sesh so I just cut out and go upstairs in my boxers to get some more drinks. We get up there and that other girl from the car, not the driver is still here and tells me that jumping off the roof made her so wet (wtf right) and that she wants to take me downstairs. I grab a smaller bottle of vodka downstairs because more alcohol quenches the thirst obviously. I drink that on the way down. We end up going into the room where the first girl is still there, she is pretty drunk. She sees me and is thrilled, totally ready for round two. Cue threesome. Then I go back upstairs after being finished with those two. Apparently it is around 3 or 4 am at this point. I take 5 or 6 bong rips and go with someone to the hardware store (someone broke a window). I spend the next hour fucking around with power tools and being a hooligan, somehow don't hurt myself or anyone else. We leave, and I see some homeless guy out on the street and convince the driver that we should bring him back with us. This homeless guy just chills at the party for a good hour before randomly leaving after getting in a fight with the owner. Said owner gets pissed at me for bringing him here and tries to fight me. I get my ass beat, but not as bad as he did. I was still blind drunk and broke his cheekbone in the fight, somehow I didn't break my hand, but I had a swollen face for a day or two.
That was quite a night. Sorry for the wall of badly written text. Your stories?
