Veet for Men, Hair Removal review... Not for the faint hearted!

Stevo

The Grinchmind
Dec 31, 2012
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Certainly not for the faint-hearted, but definitely worth reading for the entertainment.

A.Chappell said:
After having been told my danglies looked like an elderly Rastafarian I decided to take the plunge and buy some of this as previous shaving attempts had only been mildly successful and I nearly put my back out trying to reach the more difficult bits. Being a bit of a romantic I thought I would do the deed on the missus's birthday as a bit if a treat. I ordered it well in advance and working in the North Sea I considered myself a bit above some of the characters writing the previous reviews and wrote them off as soft office types...Oh my fellow sufferers how wrong I was.
A.Chappell said:
I waited until the other half was tucked up in bed and after giving some vague hints about a special surprise I went down to the bathroom. Initially all went well and I applied the gel and stood waiting for something to happen. I didn’t have long to wait. At first there was a gentle warmth which in a matter of seconds was replaced by an intense burning and a feeling I can only describe as like being given a barbed wire wedgie by two people intent on hitting the ceiling with my head. Religion hadn't featured much in my life until that night but I suddenly became willing to convert to any religion to stop the violent burning around the turd tunnel and what seemed like the the destruction of the meat and two veg. Struggling not to bite through my bottom lip I tried to wash the gel off in the sink and only succeeded in blocking the plughole with a mat of hair. Through the haze of tears I struggled out of the bathroom across the hall into the kitchen, by this time walking was not really possible and I crawled the final yard to the fridge in the hope of some form of cold relief. I yanked the freezer drawer out and found a tub of ice cream, toe the lid off and positioned it under me. The relief was fantastic but only temporary as it melted fairly quickly and the fiery stabbing returned. Due to the shape of the ice cream tub I hadn’t managed to give the starfish any treatment and I groped around in the draw for something else as I was sure my vision was going to fail fairly soon. I grabbed a bag of what I later found out was frozen sprouts and tore it open trying to be quiet as I did so. I took a handful of them and an tried in vain to clench some between the cheeks of my arse. This was not doing the trick as some of the gel had found its way up the chutney channel and it felt like the space shuttle was running its engines behind me. This was probably and hopefully the only time in my life I was going to wish there was a gay snowman in the kitchen which should give you some idea of the depths I was willing to sink to in order to ease the pain.
The only solution my pain crazed mind could come up with was to gently ease one of the sprouts where no veg had gone before. Unfortunately, alerted by the strange grunts coming from the kitchen the other half chose that moment to come and investigate and was greeted by the sight of me, arse in the air, strawberry ice cream dripping from my bell end pushing a sprout up my arse while muttering “ooooohhh that feels good”… Understandably this was a shock to her and she let out a scream and as I hadn’t heard her come in it caused an involuntary spasm of shock in myself which resulted in the sprout being ejected at quite some speed in her direction.

I can understand that having a sprout rectally fired against your leg at 11 at night in the kitchen probably wasn’t the special surprise she was expecting and having to explain to the kids the next day what the strange hollow in the ice cream was didn’t improve my status… so to sum it up, VEET removes hair, dignity and self-respect!
 
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Chron

Adept
Dec 31, 2012
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Australia
Lawl. Anyone that's silly enough to put hair removal cream on their sensitive spots (Read: HIS GODDAMN NUTSACK AND ANUS) deserves to have their butt raided by sprouts.

Also, I feel that basically dipping his nuts and asshole into a raging volcano and shooting sprouts out of his butt still would've achieved resulted in spicing things up with his wife.
 
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Chron

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Dec 31, 2012
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That is why you always test this shit in small amounts before you just put it all over.... Some people.
What's great is that on most hair removal cream it specifically says not to put it on sensitive parts of the skin. All of this flaming testicles and anal sprout shooting could have been avoided if he just read the back of the bottle. :p
Still, it's a hilarious read. I happen to know someone that was silly enough to coat their nutsack in hair removal cream. Although, he unfortunately didn't end up shooting sprouts out of his ass.
 

PandaMan

Master
Jan 24, 2013
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What's great is that on most hair removal cream it specifically says not to put it on sensitive parts of the skin. All of this flaming testicles and anal sprout shooting could have been avoided if he just read the back of the bottle. :p
Still, it's a hilarious read. I happen to know someone that was silly enough to coat their nutsack in hair removal cream. Although, he unfortunately didn't end up shooting sprouts out of his ass.
Screw shaving bro, I am so lazy that I would do this, although I would test in on my armpits first, in a small amount, then in the nether area in a small amount, the on the sack a little, then go all out and pray to GOD.
 
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Ariel Morgan

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Dec 27, 2012
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Screw shaving bro, I am so lazy that I would do this, although I would test in on my armpits first, in a small amount, then in the nether area in a small amount, the on the sack a little, then go all out and pray to GOD.
You guys never did this?

Honestly, it has never burned for me before...
Or my wife...
Or my dog... at least that i Know of... :/

But if I burned, I would go for some cold shrubs first thing... All over. And my wife would be the one to do it for me.

She aint scared of flying plant life!
 

PandaMan

Master
Jan 24, 2013
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You guys never did this?

Honestly, it has never burned for me before...
Or my wife...
Or my dog... at least that i Know of... :/

But if I burned, I would go for some cold shrubs first thing... All over. And my wife would be the one to do it for me.

She aint scared of flying plant life!
I have a pool out back, so I'm good.

I mean, I'm 17 so......

And fuck that shit dude, I don't want the questions that pertain to having it in a house with no privacy.

Still need to find out where to hide my drugs though
 

Ariel Morgan

Adept
Dec 27, 2012
112
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Oak Park, MI
I have a pool out back, so I'm good.
Whut?

I mean, I'm 17 so......
Get rid of that hair mate! It's easier than ever with V33T!

And fuck that shit dude, I don't want the questions that pertain to having it in a house with no privacy.
Who said you ever need to explain to anyone why you want to be hairless?
If mom asks, tell her you want it to look bigger, no more questions will be asked.

If they are, tell her it's her fault and run to your room crying.

Still need to find out where to hide my drugs though
Dog's rectum in a capsule.
J/K they smell that way.

Just, hide them so they don't smell
 

PandaMan

Master
Jan 24, 2013
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I can run and jump in there if it burns a lot.


Get rid of that hair mate! It's easier than ever with V33T!

I shave currently, beat you to it.


Who said you ever need to explain to anyone why you want to be hairless?
If mom asks, tell her you want it to look bigger, no more questions will be asked.

If they are, tell her it's her fault and run to your room crying.

My mom wouldn't give a shit, I don't want to hear shit from my dad, he still thinks that I'm a nice boy who just hangs out with friends, doesn't party and doesn't do shit, I don't want him thinking otherwise.


Dog's rectum in a capsule.
J/K they smell that way.

Just, hide them so they don't smell

So bad, soooooooo bad.

Yeah, I know, but everywhere in my room has potential to be found, I might tape them between my bookshelves and the wall, or hide them in the garage like I do with my alcohol....