So at E3 they announced the newest Halo game coming out. Excited about the new teaser? If you haven't seen it out, check it out below.
E3 2000, I mean.
I know, I'm a joker. You probably wanted something newer than that. Well here you go.
Halo 2. Good times, huh? That was in 2003.
No, no, we want the one for the current Xbox. Not past ones, silly! "Okay" I say, "I'll get you the teaser you were waiting for..."
Well I'd blame you for stupidity if you didn't see this next video coming. I mean, fuck, can't you see the huge thumbnail? Get your shit together, dude.
Halo 3, E3 2006
I'm going to go ahead and drop this guise of trickery, and adopt one of nostalgia. The next teaser for ODST was actually pretty impressive, even looking back on it today. Much different from the past ones, since it really got your imagination going after being briefly introduced to ODSTs over New Mombasa in the Halo 2 campaign.
ODST. This one still gets my juices flowing.
Do you guys remember watching the trailer for Halo 4? I remember seeing the sticky detonator being held in Chief's one hand (unlike Reach's two-handed grenade launcher) and being held in awe. Only a true mastermind could this of a one-handed grenade launcher. Neat stuff.
Feast your eyes on the games of today! So sleek! So futuristic! So... E3 2011.
Hey, great job watching all of those videos. It's been, what, 15 minutes since you started reading this article? I really admire your dedication to my work. Thanks man. I, uh... *sniff* That means a lot to me. You know what? I admire that. Thank you. Just for you, I'll give you what you came for. You wanted to see a teaser? I'll show you a teaser. One I have completely and purposefully neglected up to this point.
Here's what you've all been waiting for.
Halo Reach, baby!
Apparently there's another teaser flying about on the internet. I don't know. It's just called Halo. It doesn't sound like Halo 5 to me. But, I don't know, maybe you'd want to check it out. I wouldn't. If I were you, I'd just watch that ODST teaser again. Yeah, that sounds better. Here you go.
ODST. "Online Depression Screening Test" is a strange subtitle, if you ask me. But it sure fits the game's atmosphere, that's for sure.
Or, you know, I could cut the shit and show you the fucking teaser. Yeah. Yeah, let's do that.
Here's the teaser for the newest Halo game shown at this year's E3 show.
No trickery. Just pure, unadulterated, ambiguous advertising.
Discuss your thoughts below