Supreme Leader of China
Granted, but it's an obese man with a neck beard and dorito fingersGranted, but for the rest of your life you can only live on Mountain Dew and Doritos fed directly into your blood stream through an IV drip, you must remain in your sponsored armchair (complete with self-recycling shitbucket) and play games that Mtn Dew and Doritos are featured in for at least 23 hours a day, and you must win at least 66% of your games, all because the sponsorship deal said so. You must also sing the MtnDewrito anthem [Drumtrapstep-Electropsyhardtrance Remix] (ft. DJ xXxBlAz3iT420xXx) once every 420 minutes and salute the respective corporate logos with all your heart and soul. Failiure to comply with any of these regulations forces a special blend of hyper strength Mtn Dew syrup and Dorito flavouring mix to be added into your IV drip, which burns away the nerve endings in your brain and replaces them with specially genetically modified Mtn Dew and Dorito Cells which help ensure your obedience by altering your DNA structure so that the only things you can taste and smell are the flavours of Mtn Dew and Doritos, and your eyes grow a special coating over them which resembles the corporate logos of both parties.
(I was bored at work)
I wish to meet my soulmate and for us to have a perfectly normal life together with no sudden mishaps or deaths
I wish to jump on icicles.